


We'll Get Through This (I promise)

by Clockwork_Dragon



Series: Main Ramien Backstory [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst, Are you ready for the trigger warnings?, Auschwitz, Blood, Concentration Camps, Cute Gay Dorks In Love, Death, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, Like spears and swords and stuff, M/M, Mentions of Death, Mentions of Nightmares, Mentions of Prison, Mentions of neglect, Minor Character Death, No Guns, Panic Attacks, Pet Names, Suicidal Thoughts, This fic gets pretty dark as you can tell, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, War, Weapons, Wings, World War II, established universe, here we go:, how did I forget that one oof, injuries, like blink and you'll miss it minor, mentions of abuse, mentions of threats, ok that's it, piles of angst, self-deprecation, tw holocaust, well there's one implied but it's v minor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-24
Updated: 2020-03-06
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:35:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 7,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22885651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clockwork_Dragon/pseuds/Clockwork_Dragon
Summary: Damien and Ray are enjoying their day off when they are drafted to go help in World War II. However, their draft won't be the usual kind...ORI have no idea how to write this summary but it's essentially Ray angst nobody asked for. Uhhh more info in the notes
Relationships: Original Character(s)/Original Character(s), Original Male Character/Original Male Character
Series: Main Ramien Backstory [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1645045
Kudos: 2





	1. An Expected Visitor

**Author's Note:**

> So! This work is the single longest project I have written, so that's something. Also, it's like... half edited. I really wanted to post it so only the beginning has been edited, but Grammarly's got my back when it comes to grammar so hopefully it won't be too bad. This is a part of a larger backstory so there is foreshadowing for other works and some loose ends that are only temporarily tied up so keep that in mind. But yeah, I'm really excited to share this project that I spent a couple of weeks working on, and I hope you enjoy! Updates every day, hopefully.

Damien flopped over dramatically into Ray’s lap as they lay on their roof. Ray said nothing, only absentmindedly ruffling his hair as he continued to read his book. Damien sighed dramatically, and when Ray still didn’t respond, he sighed again, louder. Ray silently and deliberately put his book very neatly on Damien’s face, making him squawk indignantly and roll off of Ray’s lap, wings flailing. Ray smirked.

“Serves you right,” he said lightly, still not taking his eyes off of his book. “The one day I’ve had off in a while and you try to annoy me?” Damien huffed in annoyance.

“Hey, it’s a rare thing for me too, and I’d like to spend the day doing what I want as well. Which just so happens to be bothering you,” he said, as he put his hand over the page Ray was reading. He snapped the book shut on his hand, making Damien yelp. Ray looked down at him, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“Well? What else did you expect?” Damien sighed again, settling down on the warm tin roof next to Ray, staring up at the fluffy white clouds. 

They stayed like that for a while, enjoying each other’s company in silence, until Damien noticed a dark figure breaking through the clouds above them. He nudged Ray with his elbow and pointed up at it. 

“I think we have company.” Ray glanced up and nodded. He closed his book and carefully put it on the roof, before taking off into the sky. He was shortly joined by Damien as they flew into the air to meet their visitor.

They soared upwards, their wings beating in synch. Damien glanced over at Ray and grinned, reveling in the pure exhilaration of the air rushing past and the sheer joy of being with Ray. There was nothing he loved more than flying through the sky with Ray, moving in tandem with each other and anticipating how the other will move. He knew, as sure as the wind under his wings, that he and Ray were a perfect match. Not just in a romantic way, but in a professional one too. They always had each other’s back, and they always knew what they needed to do to keep themselves and each other safe. It was what had kept them alive and together for so long. Being a Sentinel was a dangerous, deadly job, but together, they made it work. 

He was so caught up in the rush of flying that he nearly overshot the person that was headed towards them. It was only Ray’s hand shooting out to catch his arm on his way past that stopped him, and even then he nearly fell out of the sky as he tried to catch himself. The visitor, a messenger judging from his uniform, hovered in front of them, only raising an eyebrow at Damien as he struggled. He shook his head, and asked,

“Damien Everett and Ray Greene?” Ray nodded and Damien gave a small, awkward wave. The messenger pulled out two envelopes and handed them to Ray, who took them with a look of first confusion, and then resignation. The messenger gave a half-hearted, semi-sarcastic salute and flew away, soaring up to the clouds. Ray turned to Damien. He said nothing, only solemnly handed him the envelope with his name. Damien took it and blanched when he saw the seal. _Escort_ _Sentinels: International Conflict Division._ His hands shook slightly and he looked up at Ray, who only nodded silently. 

“It’s not like we didn’t see this coming.” He said quietly, not meeting Damien’s eyes. 

“No, but… I had hoped we wouldn’t have to do this again. Last time…” he trailed off, worry etched on his face. 

“Let’s go down and talk on the roof. Okay?” Damien nodded, slowly dropping in a semi-controlled spiral to the tin roof below them where they had been relaxing only a few moments ago.

He landed gently but as his feet hit the tin roof, his knees gave out and he collapsed to the ground in a boneless heap. Ray rushed to catch him, pulling Damien into his lap.

“Woah there, what’s wrong?” He asked gently, a look of concern on his face. Damien said nothing, just letting out a quiet, pained whimper. “Hey, hey. It’s okay, I’ve got you. We can make it through this together, okay? We can do this. We’ve done it before, we can make it through again,” Ray said, rubbing circles into Damien’s back as he clung to him, his tears soaking Ray’s shoulder. Damien sniffed, and after a moment, said,

“Maybe, but the thing is doing it  _ again _ . What if we’re separated? I knew this was going to happen, the war isn’t exactly a secret, but…” Ray gently kissed the top of Damien’s head. 

“You’re stronger than you think, my dear. Even if we are separated, I know you’ll be able to make it through whatever the war throws our way, okay?” Damien relaxed for a moment but then suddenly stiffened. 

“What about you, my sunshine? I don’t know what I’d do if you were hurt, or....” Ray smiled softly and ran his fingers through Damien’s hair comfortingly. 

“Don’t worry about that, my angel. I can handle anything thrown at me, don’t you worry.” He grinned, a playful look in his eyes. Damien looked up at him, his eyes still red. He gave a tired, weak grin. 

“Maybe, but I still worry. I can’t help but feel like something will go wrong.” Ray hugged him tighter. 

“I promise, Damien. I will make it through whatever I have to face in the name of the war. And I know you will too.” Ray whispered in Damien’s ear. “I promise.”

After a while, Damien let go of Ray and reached for the envelopes that lay forgotten on the roof. Sighing, he reached for his and opened it. Inside was a very short letter.

_ To: Mr. Everett _

_ From: The International Conflict Division Overseeing Escort  _

_ Sentinels _

_ Mr. Everett, _

_ We wish to inform you that you are being summoned to the _

_ American Overseas Base in England. Report there within _

_ two weeks to receive your instructions. Transportation has _

_ been arranged. _

_ The National Conflict Division Overseeing Escort Sentinels _

Damien leaned back and sighed. The letter had the usual tact that he had come to expect from the Division, which was to say, none at all. At least this letter didn’t threaten him with imprisonment as the last one had. Perhaps he was in their books as  _ already threatened and intimidated _ . He looked over at Ray, who was putting his own letter back in the envelope.

“Shall we get packing, then? We’re going to have to move fast to get there in two weeks.” Damien nodded. 

“So much for a day off,” he said sourly.


	2. Orders Received

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Damien and Ray actually receive their orders finally and there's some nice foreshadowing that is the opposite of subtle. Some applicable in this fic, some not. Oh, and some of the promised Ray angst has arrived!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not going to lie, this is probably one of my least favorite parts of this work. Also if you couldn't tell, I don't know a thing about the military or much about world war II so expect some historical inaccuracies oof. Enjoy!

Damien stood in line, somewhat impatiently waiting for the boat to begin boarding. He was trying to ignore the throbbing in his wings and steady his breathing. They had flown for hours at top speed to reach the port and just made it in time. Even flying, crossing a majority of the continental United States was not an easy feat. They weren’t particularly close to the Division’s two-week warning, but Ray wanted to make sure that even if something went wrong they would be able to make it in time. Damien suspected that he was a lot more scared than he let on, but every time he brought it up, Ray would either quickly deflect the question or change the topic entirely. Eventually, Damien let it go, knowing there was no way he could convince Ray to admit his feelings.

“Damien?” Ray said, lightly touching him on the shoulder. “Are you okay? They’ve started boarding.”

“Oh, yes. I’m fine. Just… worried, I suppose.” Ray smiled at him and squeezed his shoulder comfortingly. 

“Let’s go, then.” Damien nodded, following him onto the boat.

The boat ride was long and uneventful. There were a handful of other Sentinels onboard, for the same reason as them. 

“Now, what y’all don’t get is that this is gonna be a whole new rodeo, you get it? Because between me and you,” One of them had said, leaning in close, “this one is big. Like, we’re dealing with so much spyin’ you don’t even know who you can trust anymore kinda big. I mean,” they trailed off, “There’s always been a lotta spyin’, ‘specially on the mortals side o things. But now, I’ve heard from a friend of a friend of a friend if you know what I mean,” they said with a wink. “That our up-tops? Our managers? Are bein’ extra secretive this time ‘round, like they’ve got somethin’ to hide. Now, I don’t know anything in particular, but I’m just sayin’.” And for the rest of the ride, if asked if they knew anything else, all they would reply with was, “I don’t know anythin’ else, don’t ask me.” Damien was frustrated, but in the end, he let it go with Ray’s urging.

“Even if they are keeping something from us, you asking them what they’re hiding won’t do anything. Actually, wait.” He said, reconsidering. “It probably could do something, like end up with you in jail, or worse.” So, Damien had, with some reluctance, dropped it.

They arrived at the England port with little fuss, though they were both walked through several times as they tried to make their way down the gangplank, which was not pleasant at all.

“I always hate that,” Ray said, rubbing his arms and looking at the person that had just walked through him. “It’s like being dunked in an icy lake and being shocked by a doorknob really hard at the same time.” Damien said nothing, only nodding his agreement. There seemed to be something caught in his throat as he looked over the city they had escaped from almost 50 years ago. It felt different now, though he couldn’t quite place what it was, aside from the obvious physical differences. Something about it felt… off. Like the whole city was holding its breath, waiting for a strike to fall. It was an unsettling feeling. Quickly, Damien pulled Ray through the crowd, rushing to find a clearing so they could take off. They leaped into the sky, accompanied by several others who had the same destination. As they flew, Damien had the other Sentinel’s words ringing in his mind. And as they flew, he couldn’t quite shake the feeling that they were being watched.

They landed on the flat roof of the Division building with about three other Sentinels, Damien brushing his hand against Ray’s. He didn’t want to risk them being found out, but he needed reassurance right then. All he could think about was the feeling that something was off, that they were being watched, that they were in danger. Ray looked over at him and offered a comforting smile. Damien returned it gratefully and took a deep breath. He and Ray had lived through war before, they could do it again.

They walked down a dimly lit spiral staircase, their boots clanking on the dull metal. With their wings, it was a bit of a tight squeeze, but the group made it down without incident. At the bottom, they were greeted by a stern-looking military official wearing so much silver and gold he almost looked like a Christmas tree.

“Follow me,” he ordered in a rough, commanding voice. Damien wondered if it was possible to be any more of a cliché.

They followed him into an open foyer-style room, with a long desk and a large group of Sentinels gathered around it. Damien and Ray hesitantly approached the desk, noticing yet another military officer was sitting behind it. Nobody was talking, only standing at attention. Damien and Ray did the same, and waited to, presumably, receive their orders.

After several other flocks of Sentinels slowly trickled in to join the group, the person behind the desk said,

“Now. You all know there’s a war going on, and you all read the letter. We need Sentinels stationed at various points both on the front lines and behind them. So, I will call out your name and hand you your instructions. Am I clear?” A resounding “Yes sir!” came from the group of Sentinels. He nodded, and continued, “First, Aberman, Chris.” A Sentinel, presumably Chris Aberman, stepped forward and took the slip of paper from the clerk. “Abner, Lewis.” The clerk slowly went down the list of names, before reaching, 

“Everett, Damien.” Damien took a shaky breath and stepped forward. He grabbed the paper, managing to keep his hands from shaking. He walked back to where Ray was standing and read the paper. Nothing unusual, thankfully. Just the standard front lines in France, probably escorting anyone who died in battle. Familiar, if not the best job in the war. He took a deep breath. He knew what to do. He would be okay.

“Greene, Ray.” Ray stepped up to the desk, trying to keep the fear off of his face. Despite what he had said to Damien, he was absolutely scared out of his mind. But he didn’t want it to show, _couldn’t_ let it show. Damien needed him to be strong. Even though they were married, Ray knew he had to be the steadier one, the calm one. He wasn’t carrying baggage from an abusive family unlike Damien (He ignored the echoes of Damien’s voice that said _They_ neglected _you, Ray, that’s not being normal, that’s_ abuse). He knew he just had to push his fears away, take the piece of paper, and do whatever the heck it said. It was like he told Damien. Everything would turn out fine. 

That thought in his mind, he accepted the slip of paper, not really noticing the look of sympathy the clerk gave him. He walked back over to Damien and gave him a Ray-grin, bright enough to blind the casual onlooker. And if this one was more forced than usual, well, Ray was doing his best. It would have to be enough.

“Well? Where did you get?” Damien asked as Ray read his paper as he frowned.

“Some sort of… military camp, I guess? It’s called Auschwitz, it’s somewhere in Germany. But what’s weird is, I’m only going to be there for a week and a half…” He trailed off. Damien frowned and looked at the paper. 

“Auschwitz… I feel like I’ve heard something about it, but I don’t know what. But hey, maybe after that week you’ll join me at the front,” he said, a hopeful note in his voice. Ray smiled at that, an actual smile this time. 

“True,” he said, thinking that as long as he made it home with Damien, everything would be okay. 


	3. Don't get your hopes up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Damien and Ray face the war, and start to see hints of its awfulness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this one is better if you know a bit of world-building, I guess. Long story short, think of ethes (pronounced eh-theys) as deadly ghost-like things that are silver and only want to maim and or kill Sentinels (think grim reaper with black wings and different clothes) like Damien or Ray because they only have base instincts and killing them gives them energy so. Alone, not usually a threat. In bigger numbers, well...

Everything was not okay, Damien realized as he flew over the battlefield, surveying the damage. War on this scale was big, it was deadly, and it was messy. All lessons he had learned about the first world war, lessons he was reminded of now. It was hard to ignore the stench of death and sweat that invaded his nose and commanded most of the battlefield. As it turns out, fighting for your country smells just as bad as fighting for your life. After all, the two aren’t really that different, Damien mused. As his eyes roamed over the battlefield, he saw a flash of silver. There. He swooped in and hesitated for only a moment before leaning over and grabbing the fallen soldier’s wrist. When he did, a silvery copy of the soldier was pulled out of the body, and slowly drifted up into the smoke-filled blue sky. Damien looked up, watching it for a moment. He was grateful that he wasn’t a Wanderer and that the poor man’s spirit was at rest, whatever that meant for him. Quickly, Damien shook himself out of his thoughts and leaped into the sky, once again circling overhead, searching for the telltale glint of silver in the carnage from the former battleground.

Everything was not okay. When Ray finally reached his station at Auschwitz, he briefly wondered if he had somehow died, was reborn as a mortal, and then died again, because he had clearly just entered hell. And as far as he was aware, it was impossible for him to be in hell if he was still a Sentinel. He looked over his shoulder and yes, there were his two large, black, and very present wings. Which could only mean that the sight before him was actually there. In front of him was a camp, surrounded on all sides by fencing and armed guards. Not that they were there to keep him in, no, he was still invisible to the mortals. But those fences did a very good job at keeping the mortals stuck there. And judging by the sheer wall of silver that greeted him, they went here to die.  
Hesitantly, he stepped into the camp, where he was immediately greeted by an exhausted-looking secretary.  
“Oh, thank goodness you’re here. William!” He called over his shoulder. “Your replacement’s here. You got your new orders? Then get out of here, you lucky fool.” They turned to Ray. “Sorry about all of this,” he said, gesturing to the silvery haze that seemed to linger over the camp. “We’re a bit understaffed, and considering few people work here longer than two weeks at a time, well,” he grimaced. Ray nodded absently, trying to take in his surroundings. There were several buildings around him, from ones that looked like some kind of housing to ones that he assumed were factories, considering the materials being moved to and from them. But in the camp, there were two buildings that scared him the most. One that was letting off a cloud of smoke that to him shone a bright silver that nearly blinded him to look at, and another that looked like it was built of silver, even though he knew that logically, it was likely built like the other buildings around him. The secretary coughed, bringing Ray’s attention back to him. He smiled tiredly and said,   
“Why don’t you head to where you’ll be staying for the next week and a half? I would say where you’re going to sleep but,” he shrugged, “you don’t get a lot of that here.” As he said it, Ray couldn’t help but notice the large bags under his eyes that seemed to confirm it.   
They walked into the camp proper and the secretary warned him, “Be sure to stay on your guard,” just before a cat-like ethe jumped out from the shadow of a building at them. Quickly, the secretary swang around a short sword, easily dispatching it. Ray had opened his spear to its full length, holding it in front of him in a defensive stance. The secretary sheathed his sword and glanced over at Ray.  
“You usually work as an Escort?” Ray nodded. The secretary didn’t seem surprised at all. “Neat. Well, that spear should serve you well here, though here’s a tip. Don’t retract it while you’re on duty. Or off duty for that matter. Today’s actually a pretty slow day. Typically, we would’ve been attacked about three times by now.” With that statement, he strode off, hand on the hilt of his sword. Ray felt a chill go down his spine but followed him anyways. It wasn’t like he had a choice in the matter.


	4. Ray is stressed and Damien is gay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one is where the angst starts to pick up. And fair warning, it doesn't get better for a while :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All I can say is I'm sorry. Also, this is where some of the warnings start to kick in, so keep that in mind.

Three days later and Ray was counting down the days until he was finally able to leave this place. The worst part about all of this, he thought, was the near-constant ethe attacks that didn’t allow him to get any sleep.

At all.

Because he had to be on constant alert at all times, constantly scanning the area for possible attacks.

Can’t stop.

If he stopped, he’s dead.

Can’t die.

Made a promise to Damien.

Can’t break his promise.

But god, how he wished he could give up.

The next attack, let the ethe have him.

It’d be so easy, he thought.

He didn’t know if he’d be reincarnated as a mortal or not if he did.

He didn’t know if he cared.

He didn’t know what it would be like, to just… not exist.

To become less than an ethe, just a silver mist.

To not have enough mental capacity to care.

He thought he was halfway there already.

And then he thought about Damien, and he almost cried.

Cried as he cut through another ethe.

Damien.

Ray had to stay alive for Damien.

He was probably still working on the front lines.

He hoped he was doing better than Ray.

Not that that would be hard.

Damien flopped down onto his bunk. It smelled, it was hot, it was cramped, but it was a place where he could sleep. He sighed, thinking about Ray. He hoped he was doing okay and not too stressed out as he worked at the military camp behind the front lines. Fondly, Damien remembered the way his hair had caught the final rays of the sun as they went to their positions. How his gray eyes held such care and strength as they found a hidden corner, and he had gently pressed a kiss to Damien’s knuckles. How Damien had retaliated by sweeping him into a hug and then, a lingering kiss. How they had said nothing, yet they both understood everything that hung unsaid between them. 

Damien lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling for a long while, smiling slightly as he reminisced. He was broken out of his thoughts when he heard a voice from beside his head ask,

“Remembering someone special, are you?” Damien sat up and looked over at the speaker. He seemed to be only a few years older than Damien biologically, but he knew very well that looks could be deceiving. 

“Yeah,” Damien replied, laying back down on his bed. The other person laughed lightly and asked,

“Well, who is it? Come on, you can’t leave me wondering over here.” Damien smiled at the ceiling and said without missing a beat,

“My wife, Rachel.” It was common knowledge that a fair amount of the military was gay, both for mortals and for Sentinels. It was also common knowledge that you didn’t talk about it, switching pronouns and names where necessary. Damien and Ray had been using the names Delilah and Rachel to refer to each other since the first war they had ever worked through, and those names had served them well. 

“Mortal or Sentinel?” The voice cut through his thoughts. 

“Sentinel, we’ve both been dead too long for anything else.” Damien replied. The other person made a sound of sympathy.

“Well, when this is all over, maybe you’ll be able to see each other again.” Damien sighed.

“I hope so.”


	5. Endurance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, sorry about the delay. I kinda forgot that I hadn't posted whoops. Oh well, here it is. And sorry again, but this one is kinda short. Don't worry though, there are some longer ones waiting :p. Enjoy!

Day six out of ten. Ray kept telling himself that. Over halfway there. Four days. Four days of constantly on guard, in the ever-constant thrum of find silver, grab wrist, pull, move on. The worst part was when it wasn’t there. When he went find silver, grab wrist, pull, and then explain. Try to explain the concept of his reality to someone who had just entered it. It was hard every time, explaining to them that they had died, watching them cry and mourn over their loved ones and the life they had just lost. Some were grateful they were able to escape the misery that had become their life. Ray didn’t blame them.

It was hard, but it was what he had signed up for when he himself became a Sentinel. He was glad he didn’t have to train in the conditions the new ones had to. Only a fifth of them survived past training, on average. Suddenly, he saw a glint of silver in the shadows next to him, and without waiting for the attack, he thrust his spear forward, piercing the attacking ethe in the chest. He continued forward, not even breaking his stride. He was officially off the clock now, as the sun began to set over the camp. He felt his stomach lurch as he caught sight of that awful, misery-inducing, silver laced smoke. When the crematorium was running, every single body that was burned and hadn’t had its soul Escorted by a Sentinel was turned into an ethe. Ray sighed. It looked like he wasn’t getting to rest from his job just yet it seemed. Not that that made any difference to the way the rest of his posting had gone.  _ Four more days, _ he thought.  _ I just have to last four more days. _

Damien spread his wings and flew into the sky, relishing in the feeling of the wind under his wings before he turned his mind back to the task at hand. He circled the battlefield, watching as men fell to the ground, a bullet in their shoulder or chest. He swooped in, grimacing as he felt a bullet pass through him, feeling like a piece of ice had been thrown at him. He landed and grabbed the fallen man’s wrist. As his silvery soul-self came free, instead of drifting off into the sky, it landed on the ground next to Damien and solidified, regaining its color until it looked just like the body that was lying at his feet, minus the variety of injuries. Damien sighed, before putting on a smile for the man, who was now looking around, very confused. 

“Hello! What do you say we go somewhere safer to talk? I’m sure you have lots of questions.” He said in a voice that was far too chipper to be genuine.


	6. Giving up (and not being able to)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I would say sorry but that'd be a lie so...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh hi, please watch out, this chapter gets really dark for Ray, k thanks enjoy!

Ray fell to the ground, exhausted. He just had to live through this day, and he’d be reassigned somewhere else. Anywhere else was preferable to this hell. But he didn’t know if he’d be able to make it. Ten days of constant stress and anxiety, seeing sights, hearing sounds, smelling things he wished he could’ve gone his whole life without experiencing. He was so, so tired. He wanted to stay on the ground and not move ever again, let the ethes get him if they wanted. He didn’t care anymore. As he thought that, he felt a spark of guilt. Damien. He’d promised he would make it through whatever the war threw at him. He didn’t want to let him down, didn’t want to break his trust. But the ground was cool, and he was tired, and it would be so easy to go to sleep without the expectation to ever wake up. But Damien. It would break him. He had to live so Damien wouldn’t be hurt.  _ Or would he _ , a traitorous part of his mind replied.  _ How do you know he’s not lying about caring for you? He married you, but that was years ago. Do you really expect that he still loves you, after all this time? No, he’s just being nice to you. And even if by some miracle he did love you, would he love the pathetic shell you’ve become? Would he love you as you sat crying on the ground, curled up in a ball, wishing some ethe would come along and kill you?  _ Dimly, Ray realized there were tears running down his cheeks, but he couldn’t seem to care about that, or anything else. 

“-right? Hey, can you hear me?” A voice broke through his thoughts, and he flinched when he felt a hand on his shoulder. “I saw you were laying on the ground, and there was this ethe stalking you and, well, I took care of it,” Ray wished they hadn’t, “and I was wondering if you were, you know, hurt, or anything?” Ray sat up slowly, blinking tears out of his eyes.

“‘M fine,” he mumbled, ignoring the concerned look the other Sentinel gave him. 

“Oh, and are you by any chance Ray Greene? They asked me to tell you they need you over at headquarters,” they said, gesturing over their shoulder. Ray nodded, a spark of hope igniting in his chest. Maybe he was finally getting reassigned. He carefully picked himself up off the ground and slowly limped his way to the main building, exhausted, bedraggled, but for the first time in a week and a half, hopeful. 

Damien sat with a group of soldiers, trying not to nod off. He had pulled an all-nighter the night before, trying desperately to keep the ethe numbers low. He was tired, and in his exhaustion, he couldn’t help but think about Ray. How he was doing, where he was now. If he remembered correctly, he should’ve been moved somewhere else by now, probably either to the front lines or a medical camp. Damien hoped he was moved to the front, just so he would have a chance to run into him again. He missed him more than he had in years, since the last time they were forced to separate in a war. He wanted to find him and somehow, someway, find a private corner together and hold each other until they forget to breathe from the sheer relief of the other being  _ alive _ and  _ there _ and them being together again. He loved Ray with all of his heart, and as he looked up at the moon peeking out from behind a cloud, he wished the war would end soon so they could go home together.


	7. Spiraling out of control

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Did you ask for more Ray angst? Cause here it is! If you thought it would be over by now, you'd be wrong :)

Ray wasn’t sure how he did it, but he managed to fly from Auschwitz to a military hospital set up far behind the front. He was beyond exhausted when he finally,  _ finally _ saw the mobile hospital come into his sight. He didn’t so much land as collapse on the ground outside one of the tents, and as his vision faded to black he heard hurried footsteps rush over to him.

When he came to, the first thing he noticed was that he was lying in a bed. There was a cool sheet covering him, and his wings were carefully tucked under him. The second thing he noticed was that there was a bright light pressing against his eyelids. He opened them a tiny crack, shutting them almost immediately as a blinding light flooded his eyes. He felt a figure move next to him, and heard a voice say,

“I’m glad to see you’re awake. You’ve slept for most of a day, which makes sense considering where you’ve been. If you’re feeling up to it, in about an hour all of us are going to have a meeting in the mess tent, and you’re welcome to join us.” With that, the person moved away and Ray groaned. He felt like he had only slept for a couple of hours, but with more than a little reluctance, he dragged himself out of bed. He didn’t want to do this but then again, he didn’t want to do any of this. He pushed aside the memory of the piles and piles of bodies he had seen and touched, trying fruitlessly to help as many people as he could. But when every other body resulted in a Wanderer because they were unexpectedly killed, and Ray had to explain that they were dead and so were their loved ones and he had to put on a strong face for them because they were lost, they were hurt, he was more knowledgeable, they looked to him for guidance, and he had to put his own needs aside again and again and again and help and all he wanted to do was get some rest is there anything wrong with that-no-one-was-there-for-him-no-one-has-ever-really-been-there-for-him-Damien-doesn’t-count-he-was-just-being-polite-god-what-a-mess-he-was-no-wonder-no-one-loved-him-and-- 

He was broken out of his thoughts as he felt a hand on his shoulder. He lurched back, trying desperately to avoid the attack. He let his guard down-there-was-an-ethe-it- was-going-to-kill-him-and-his-Wanderer-he-had-failed-as-a-Sentinel--

“Hey, are you okay there? You look a little out of it.” He looked up at the speaker and saw a woman with short, wavy blonde hair looking at him, concerned. He cleared his throat and waved his hand in a vague motion. 

“I’m fine, just a little… tired still, I guess.” She smiled at him sympathetically. She didn’t press the issue, only asking,

“Would you like a tour around the camp? It’s not too big, but when we have everyone moving around in here it can be hard to find your way around.” Ray nodded silently, getting up and following the woman, still trying to ignore his whirling thoughts.

He toured around the hospital camp, and all he could think is that it was a definite improvement over where he had spent the past week and a half, not that it would be hard to achieve. At least here he can manage to sleep, in theory anyway, he thought. In actuality, he had nightmares every night, waking up either screaming, crying, or in a cold sweat. He had gotten more than one concerned look from the other Sentinels working there, but he just continued to wave their concern off. There were people in worse situations than him and besides, he didn’t want to deal with their pity. So he said nothing, squared his shoulders, and threw himself into the work to distract himself and bury the thoughts and memories deep enough so that they couldn’t bother him anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A wonderful quote from one of my outlines that seems to fit beautifully here- Who needs healthy coping mechanisms when you're dead?


	8. Experiencing the war

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Damien is finally reassigned and his arc can move forward again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ngl I have mixed feelings about how this chapter came out, but it exists and it doesn't completely suck, so enjoy!

A couple of weeks later, Damien reported to his overseeing officer, glad to finally get a change of scenery if not a break. 

“So, tomorrow night, British troops are going to be moved from here,” they pointed to a map on their desk, “to here,” they finished, their finger sweeping across the map to demonstrate. “I want you to follow them, and to take up position with them at their new location. You’ll be doing a job similar to the one here. Questions?” 

“No, sir,” Damien replied, looking at the map. It didn’t look like he would have to go far, and the troops shadowing, while not the most interesting job he had ever done, would be a nice change of pace. 

“Alright then. Dismissed!” Damien spun around and walked out of the building, heading back to his bunk to pack anything he might need on his trip.

Ray sat in the operating room, his eyes on the doctors at work, both mortal and Sentinel. Because he was stationed at an army hospital, he was expected to learn basic medical training so that he could help in a crisis if needed, so here he was. He winced and looked away for a moment, before forcing himself to watch. He had never liked medical-based anything, and being in a hospital hadn’t changed his mind. But he had no other choice, so he stood by, silently watching the doctors work.

Damien sighed, circling overhead above the brigade below. They were the 4th Infantry Brigade, marching through France for who knows what. All Damien knew was that he was supposed to follow and watch them, so watch and follow he did. He was just letting his mind wander about the conditions at the front when he caught a glimpse of silver, but not the kind of silver he was looking for. No, this silver was man-made steel, and he watched in horror as the brigade was ambushed by opposing soldiers. There was shouting and cursing as they ran for cover, and Damien even saw one person lay down and pretend to be dead.  _ Brave indeed _ , Damien thought wryly as he saw the chaos unfurl. He could do nothing but watch helplessly as the troops he was watching were quickly dispatched by the others. Well, almost nothing. He swooped down into the chaos, searching for a flash of silver that didn’t come from a gun or a bullet flying through the air. His eyes were so focused on his task, however, that he forgot rule number one when in battle. Always watch your back. He looked up just in time to see a cat-like ethe spring out of the bushes at him and attack. 

He tried to fend it off, but his spear got stuck, and it was too fast. The last thing he saw was its outstretched claws reaching for him. 

Ray was exhausted. Not as exhausted as he had been, but exhausted nonetheless. A flock of Sentinels had been caught by a roaming pack of ethes, and they all had varying injuries. Dealing with all of them had meant all hands on deck, and despite his initial squeamishness, Ray found that he was actually fairly good at the basics of tending to injuries and the like. So when all the main doctors were busy dealing with a few patients who had taken a sharp turn for the worse and they had a lone injured Sentinel who had been found by a scout, Ray immediately volunteered to help. When he walked into the room and saw who it was, his heart stopped beating.

Damien.

It was Damien.

He was dying.

Ray leaped into action, knowing he had to save him. Because at that moment, he knew. He didn’t care if Damien didn’t ( _ couldn’t _ ) love him anymore, because Ray was head over heels in love with him still. As he looked at Damien, his shirt torn, his face covered in scratches, covered in his own blood, Ray knew that he would rather die than live in a world without Damien. So he got to work.


	9. Recovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's here bois! The second to last chapter! Sorry about all of the perspective shifts, I didn't want to make this a bunch of tiny chapters, so I kinda just squished them together, but hey it works. I don't know what else to say, so enjoy!

Damien woke up, which in and of itself was a surprise. After the ethe attack, he honestly didn't think he’d survive at all, or if he did, he would be terribly injured. But, other than a dull throbbing from his face and chest, he felt… not bad. Not great either, but he wasn’t delirious, which was good. He opened his eyes and he saw a canvas ceiling above him.  _ A tent _ , his mind supplied, which made sense. He was probably in a military hospital of some sort. He glanced up around the building he was in and thought he saw a familiar figure, but before he could say anything, they left the room. Damien sighed and turned back on his back to stare at the ceiling. He was still hurt, and there wasn’t much else he could do but rest.

Ray was in the room when he saw Damien start to wake up, and, not wanting to deal with his anger, quickly left the room. As he did, he felt Damien’s eyes on his back, making him hurry out of room to let someone, preferably an experienced doctor who knew what they were doing.

Damien woke up again when he felt someone moving at his side. He opened his eyes and saw someone, presumably a nurse, sitting next to him. She smiled at him and asked,

“How’re you feeling?” Damien stretched experimentally and winced, and winced again at the stinging in his face when he moved it. 

“I’ve been better.” She nodded.

“You’ve had a rough time these past few days, and I wouldn’t be surprised if you were sent back home. You don’t have any injuries that should last other than maybe a few scars that’ll make the ladies swoon-” Damien wryly wondered what Ray would have to say about that, “But you still need some time to fully recover, and we’ve just received a large number of backup forces from the States, and any kinds of jobs they might need your help in are too demanding for you right now, so maybe keep an eye out for a release home,” she said, grinning. Damien smiled back at her, while still wondering where Ray was.  _ Was that him leaving? Or someone else entirely? _ Suddenly, he had an idea.

“I’m sorry, but you don’t happen to know a Ray Greene, do you?” Her eyes lit up.

“As a matter of fact, he was the one who saved your life. He may be newly trained, but you wouldn’t be able to tell by the way he works. He has a lot of innate talent, I can tell.” Damien laughed to himself at the irony. Ray had always been rather squeamish, and yet he was a talented doctor. Life loved to throw curveballs their way, both good and bad, Damien thought. He nodded, a genuine smile on his face now. 

“We actually work together back home, you know. I owed him a debt, so we stuck together for a while, and then we realized we’re actually pretty good at keeping each other alive, so we never really went our separate ways. I was actually hoping I’d be able to see him before I went home.” The nurse smiled. 

“I’ll see if I can talk to him, get him over here to you. I’ll be right back, okay?” Damien nodded and she left, leaving Damien to realize if he wanted to properly sit up, he’d have to struggle and get off of his wings first. He sighed. Having wings was great, but it made it difficult to sleep in a normal bed sometimes.

Ray was cornered by a nurse, who told him he had someone who wanted to talk to him. Not seeing a way out of it, he went over to Damien’s bed, where it looked like he was struggling to turn over. Ray immediately saw the problem and couldn’t help but grin. Damien always complained about how his wings got in the way of him laying on his back. 

“Need a hand?” Ray asked as he came over, trying to keep a smile on his face. It had to be a good sign that Damien had asked for him, right? Damien looked at him, and his face lit up.

“Ray! I’ve missed you!” He tried, and failed, to sit up. Ray laughed and helped to ease him off of his wings so he could sit on the bed properly. He immediately hugged Ray, making his heart skip a beat.  _ That _ had to be a really good sign, right?  _ Unless he just pities you, _ the awful, traitorous voice in his head supplied. Ray pushed the thought aside and enjoyed Damien’s hug. He had forgotten how his hugs felt. They felt like home. Eventually, they parted, Damien holding Ray at an arm’s length, looking at him. His brow was creased in concern.

“Ray? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Ray replied, not meeting Damien’s eyes. He stared instead at their hands, wishing he could get another hug, but not wanting to seem clingy or needy. Maybe in the past he would’ve, or in a different setting, but-

“Are you sure?” Damien asked gently, his voice breaking through Ray’s thoughts. Ray gave Damien a small, somewhat forced smile. 

“Not here, okay?” Damien hesitated, then nodded. Seeing Ray’s discomfort, he changed the topic.

“I’ve heard it’s pretty likely that I’ll be able to go home soon, I’ve heard. Do you think you would be able to join me?” Ray considered the number of concerned glances and comments he had gotten from the other doctors and nurses. Plus, if he told that one nurse he was fairly sure he was a lesbian that he and Damien were married and she was able to pull a few strings… Ray smiled.

“Yeah, I think so.”


	10. Things settle (for now)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's done! This chapter is more of a short epilogue than another full chapter. It's not very long but it is fluffy, and I really loved writing it. I hope you've liked this work, and that you enjoy this final installment!

Three weeks later, they had jumped through all of the regulation hoops and rode a boat home. They flew home at a much slower pace than they left, but this time they both flew in silence. Ray because he had once again gotten caught up in his thoughts, Damien because he could tell something was bothering Ray and he didn’t know what.

Eventually, they got home, Damien leading the way into their home, which sat unused and dusty from their absence. Ray absently sat down on the couch, staring off into space. Damien looked at him, concerned.

“Dear? Are you okay?” Ray looked up at him and blinked a few times.

“Yeah, I'm fine, just a little tired,” he yawned. Damien gave him a look, still not convinced. He sat down on the couch next to Ray and went to grab his hands before asking,

“May I?” Ray shrugged, so Damien gently held Ray’s hands and looked at his face carefully. “What’s wrong, my sunshine?” Ray looked like he was on the verge of tears, and he suddenly burst out,

“Nothing! I’m fine, I’m good, I’m perfect, I’m sorry!” he tore his hands away from Damien, and held his elbows, his nails digging into his skin. He was very much not meeting Damien’s concerned gaze. “I’m sorry I’m such a mess! I’m a mistake, broken, an embarrassment! I’m sorry you feel like you have to be nice to me because we’re married and-” he gasped for air and Damien cut him off mid-sentence.

“My dear, I am not nice to you because we’re married. I’m nice to you because I love you. With all of my heart. Nothing could ever change that. And you’re not a mistake, or broken, or an embarrassment, okay?” Ray let out a small whimper, tears falling down his cheeks. “Oh, Ray,” Damien breathed, reaching out towards him, but hesitated. “May I?” Ray nodded slightly, so Damien very gently reached out to Ray’s face, wiping his tears away. “Can I give you a hug?” Damien asked, and in reply, Ray lurched into his arms. Damien caught him and held him close, rubbing circles into Ray’s back right above where his wings started. He felt Ray shudder and Damien felt his heart break. He didn’t care that his shoulder was likely getting very wet, he just held Ray even closer and murmured comfortingly into his ear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh also don't worry this story is far from over. This is just a temporary peace, but don't worry, there's plenty of room for angst farther down the line :)


End file.
